Sudden Attraction to Rainbows
by smuttylove
Summary: When Butters returns from spending the summer with his Aunt Nellie, it's like Kenny is looking at him for the first time. He takes a sudden interest in Butters and becomes a bit flustered with Leopold's new relationship. -Bunny-
1. Prologue

**A/N: So I've finally done it. I've finally started my bunny story I've been dreaming about for months… literally… months. And literally, I've been dreaming about it. So as you can see this is going to be a fanfic about Kenny and Butters, only the two best characters in South Park! So super seriousleh… anyway. This is a far stretch from my normal kind of writing so it's going to be quite the challenge. Please go easy on meh… I would be soooo happy. *Craig Voice* Ahem, so yes this is South Park so it will be crude, racist, and all the other demeaning and outrageous things that South Park is, so prepare for that.**

**I don't mean to offend anybody.**

**It's a boy on boy fic… of course! Does smuttylove write about anything else? But fear not, it isn't going to be hardcore fuck fuck, skeet skeet, I'm so super seriousleh gay for you out of nowhere bullshit. Um… Okay now I'm just rambling… read on.**

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

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><p>There was a lot of things Kenny McCormick was, but oblivious wasn't one of them. When Butters Stotch came back to South Park after spending the summer with his aunt Nellie in Los Angeles, he had definitely <em>matured<em> in more ways than one. Kenny wasn't the only one gawking at the sight of the reformed boy as he strolled into class, a confident kick in his step that was also a new improvement to his changed appearance.

Butters was radiating confidence, something he was lacking (for a better word) the majority of his young life. Cat calls and whistles were heard from all over the room as Butters took a seat in a desk placed conveniently between Kenny and Cartman.

"Hey fellers!"

So not much had changed after all.

Despite his new outward appearance, Butters was still the same goofy kid with awkward hick accent. Kenny didn't mind. In fact he took comfort in the notion that his personality hadn't changed. He smiled behind the cinched hood of his orange parka and gave Butters a friendly pat on the back.

"Meh mem, mowmz mim momem?"

"Now Kenny, y-you know darn well ain't nobody gonna understand a-a darn thing you're sayin' behind that hood!" Butters scolded before reaching across to release the draw strings. Kenny let out a humble laugh before translating, "I said 'Hey man, how's it going?'"

"Butters, don't tell me you've been hanging around those god damn California hippies so long you can't even understand Kinneeh," Cartman chimed indignantly.

"Butters, dude. You look different." Stan commented from a few seats over.

And indeed he did. For starters, his short and pale blonde hair that had once resembled a tattered pompom had now grown to a considerable length, almost as long as Kenny's, which Cartman took no time in accusing of being, "So fuckin' hippeh."

He'd grown a few inches, although still lagged behind the other boys in height, especially Stan who'd grown to a whopping 6'2. Kenny was second in line at a comfortable 6'0 which left Cartman and Kyle who barely reached 5'11. Last but not least came Butters who had now reached at least 5'9 over the past few summer months. So he wasn't exactly Shaq but it was an improvement from the steady 5'7 he'd been rocking since he had a growth spurt in 7th grade.

"Aw, shucks fellers… I'm still the same ole Butters… Y-yep, that's me!" the blonde boy stated while jutting a thumb to his chest.

So, he was… but it wasn't obvious by looking at his new do and attire. Now, Butters actually had _style_. Butters, 'I wear whatever my mom picks out for me in the morning', Butters, 'I've been wearing the same damn turquoise sweatshirt since 3rd grade, that unexplainably grows with me', the Butters that tap dances and still plays with Legos for fun, _that_ Butters was now somewhat fashionable.

Sporting a sweet pair of sneakers and a teal polo shirt, Butters could have easily fit in with Clyde and the rest of those "preppy butt-fucking assholes" as Stan had so often put it after Token had successfully stolen Wendy from him for the twenty-second time.

As Kenny examined the boy a bit more closely he started to notice that there was something else a bit off about Butters. He was more chipper than usual, as if that was even possible. He kept using hand gestures and flipping his hair, as well as dragging out the last word of every sentence, giving it more syllables than needed. If Kenny didn't know any better he could have sworn Butters was acting really fucking—

"Gay!" Cartman suddenly shouted over the bustling classroom. The sudden outburst caused students to turn heads and Kenny to jump slightly in shock, "Dude what the fuck are you wearing?"

Kenny glanced down, following Cartman's arm until he saw the object he was feverishly pointing at: a rainbow rubber wristband. He smiled to himself, both from the hilarity of the situation and the accuracy of his keen gaydar sense. However, his grin quickly faded when he noticed the mortified look on Butters' face. Pale and stricken with embarrassment Butters began slowly sinking in his chair, clutching his arm which bore the item of shame.

"O-Oh yeah… fellers there's something I gotta tell you…" Butters stuttered while familiarly mashing his fists together.

Kenny leaned forward in his chair, eager to hear the following sentences and be a witness to the confession everybody already knew.

Butters was gay.

"I'm… bicurious." Butters finally managed to force out in a hasty breath.

Cartman bust into hysterics, Stan pinched the bridge of his nose uncomfortably, and Kyle only blushed a fierce crimson before diverting his attention to his textbook. Kenny only smiled, pleased that Butters had finally come out of the closet and confirmed all of his past suspicions.

"You see fellers, up in California they're a lot more acceptin' of… well uh… homosexuality. So I said to myself… I said 'Butters! To heck with all of haters and do yourself a favor and… and admit it!' and so I have. My parents are awful sore and well… I got grounded but it feels just swell to get this off my chest!" Butters finished with a grand smile.

The eruption of laughter continued, Kenny's smile remained, and Butters just blushed redder than a fire hydrant. Eventually Mr. Garrison had shut everyone up long enough to finally start class after loudly announcing to Butters that he always knew he was a fag.

Soon, everyone began to forget the public confession and moved on to more interesting drama. It wasn't as if nobody saw it coming and it was definitely not the oddest thing that had ever happened in South Park. Butters seemed unfazed as he paid close attention to Mr. Garrison's crude lecture over anatomy.

The class of children, now seniors in their prime, knew full well about vaginas and penises; but every year Mr. Garrison felt the need to lecture the students over the same subject over and over. Why Mr. Garrison was their teacher year after year, they didn't bother to question but nobody liked change anyways so they dealt with his perverted teaching every semester and endured it with optimism.

Kenny had since rested his head on the desk, long enough for his cheek to start sticking to the polished wood. He was facing Butters and still giving him that admirable stare. He'd never been so proud of Leopold 'Butters' Stotch than he was at this exact moment. Not only had he stuck up for himself in front of Cartman, confessing something that could have very well been known as social suicide, but damn did he look good doing it.

Something eventually caught his attention as he noticed the other blonde consistently looking to his side every two minutes, obviously fiddling with something in his hand. Kenny peered over and saw the metallic shine of a cell phone. As soon as the initial shock wore off of Butters actually owning a cellular device, an evil smirk played across his lips. Despite he and Butters being close friends, he still took opportunities to poke fun at the boy like all the others. It was just way too much fun.

"Butters, put your phone away!" Kenny called out loudly, putting extra emphasis on the word phone and projecting his voice towards Mr. Garrison who instantly turned around with his left hand on his hip, a piece of chalk in the other.

"Butters, quit texting your faggy boyfriend and pay attention." He scolded before turning back to the chalk board, a poorly drawn stick figure woman with too large of breasts on the surface, "Now class, here is the va-gi-na. Something that Butters here will never experience. Bless his heart, they smell like a fish market and cottage cheese anyway…"

Butters frowned, as well as Kenny.

_Boyfriend? _

Kenny could feel something in his stomach churning and found himself raising an eyebrow in annoyance.

Butters has a _boyfriend_?

Kenny cocked his head to the side, all while continuing to stare at the phone in Butters grasp he'd yet to put away. What would Kenny expect from one who had just come out? Something had to have triggered the sudden realization. He tapped his fingers on the desk before coming to the conclusion, he had to get his hands on that cell phone.

"Hey Butters," Kenny whispered over dramatically. It was not a whisper at all but talking loudly in a raspy voice. The blonde turned to face him, his lips still curled in a pout.

"What Kenny?"

His tone caused Kenny's eyebrows to furrow downwards and an exasperated sigh to escape his lips. He gave up the whispering gag and smiled, having suddenly come up with a brilliant idea.

"Gotta roach on your shoulder." Kenny stated bluntly with his arms crossed.

A look of horror came over poor Leopold's face, as his skin was drained from all color. He leaped out of his desk and began flailing about swinging arms and kicking legs.

"Oh geeze! O-Oh Jesus!" Butters screeched as he danced around like a madman. The classroom was blind sided as everyone stared at Butters as if he'd lost his mind.

As Kenny had hoped, that cell phone went flying out of Butters hand and as it sailed through the air it was as if everything were in slow motion… at least in Kenny's imagination. Butters' squeaky voice suddenly sounded like a bellowing black man, the phone was moving an inch a second and Kenny was dramatically diving to retrieve it from mid-air.

Because it was Kenny, and because it was South Park, and because the whole workings of the universe failed miserably in this remote location in the middle of Colorado, and because time was not really moving in slow motion after all, Kenny did not catch the phone. Instead it landed a few feet from his desk and slid with a horrible screech across the tiles. The orange clad blonde jumped from his desk towards the phone, Butters still convinced there was a creepy crawler invading his personal space. He grabbed the device and darted out the door yelling, "Piss break!" on his way.

He scampered to the bathroom, busted open a stall, and took a seat on the lid of the toilet. He then proceeded to flip open the phone and before he even got a chance to investigate anything a tiny envelope icon appeared on the screen, bordered by a blue box and the name… 'Bradley'. Kenny couldn't suppress a snort, as he thought to himself how homo the name Bradley sounded. He pressed the small button in the center of the keyboard and waited with anticipation for the message to open. To his dismay, it was nothing interesting but a simple 'You there?'

Kenny sighed and pressed the back button to find his way to the message inbox but before he could snoop through the many texts shared between Butters and this Bradley guy he failed to notice the background on Butters phone. His fingers froze in place as he stared at the picture: there was Butters looking radiant and glistening in the California sun as well as another boy, with too curly of hair and a crooked smile. He wasn't unattractive, Kenny wasn't much better, but compared to Butters… beautiful Butters he looked like another heaping pile of white trash.

Kenny frowned and closed the phone.

He could feel some sort of pressure in his chest, almost as if his heart were sinking. He'd always thought it was just a figure of speech but right now, at this moment, it literally felt as though his heart was resting on top of his stomach, pressing against his insides and causing an undeniable feeling of ache. What could this feeling mean? Kenny decided that it was purely indigestion and strolled out of the bathroom and back towards class only to find Butters marching out the door and in his direction with a stern look on his face. Well… as stern as Butters could manage. Kenny found it amusing and flashed him a devious smile.

"K-Kenny just what the heck do you think you're doin'?" Butters called out, a little louder than his usual inside voice.

"What ever are you implying, Leopold dearest?" Innocence was not Kenny's forte and he looked a bit foolish trying to sway Butters into thinking he was completely ignorant.

"W-Why did you take my phone?" Butters sputtered out with a hand on his hip, disturbingly similar to the way Mr. Garrison had only a few moments ago.

"Your phone? Why… I would never do such a thing!" Kenny retaliated, acting hurt.

"Then why is it in your hand…"

The silence that followed was anything more than awkward.

Kenny glanced to Butters, to the phone, then back to Butters before tossing it in the air, "Here you go!"

Butters stumbled around to retrieve it, fearing it would break from already dropping twice on the hard linoleum floor. Kenny took this as an opportunity to make a break for it and avoid confrontation and further questioning. He wasn't feeling up to a day of school anyways. As he was sprinting to the front entrance of South Park High, almost tripping on his acid washed jeans that were far too long, he turned back towards the other blonde who was yelling and hollering for him to 'get back here!'.

"Hey Butters! Tell me when I get to meet Bradley!"

Even from the distance, Kenny could see Butters turn a light shade of crimson. He chuckled to himself, burst through the double doors and took off into the street where he was then hit by a bus.

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><p>"You bastard!" Kyle quickly covered his mouth in surprise, caught off guard by his sudden outburst.<p>

"Dude… what the hell?" Stan muttered from his side, giving his red-headed best friend a once over.

"I-I don't know… It was just… a tick I guess." Kyle replied, red with embarrassment.

"Sure it was Jew boy, sure it was." Cartman chimed.

"Can it fatass!"

"I'm not fat, I'm big boned!"

"Dude, your fat! You've always been fucking fat, and you'll always be fucking fat!"

"Not again…" Stan muttered while pinching the bridge of his nose out of habit, "Can you believe this, Kenny?... Kenny? Hey, has anyone seen Kenny?"

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><p><strong>AN: Now come on guys… I couldn't leave out Kenny's constant deaths. Of course he comes back… But come on. It's Kenny. It's what he does. **


	2. Apologies Are for Gaywads

**A/N: So, I'm extremely happy I got that first chapter out of the way. The first and last are always the hardest to write. I was pleasantly surprised that I received two reviews within three hours of posting the story. So I'm assuming my first chapter was not terrible. Right ho!**

**Since I'm in an especially good mood I'm updating sooner than I had intended. Hopefully this won't be a stalling story where I don't update for months. I doubt it though. I love South Park way too much.**

**Read on sweet viewers, read on.**

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><p>Apologies are for Gaywads<p>

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><p>When Kenny was in hell, he had time to sit and think, reflect on his life and his decisions and how to prevent further mishaps. At this particular moment he was thinking about how parents were not completely full of shit when they warn their children to look both ways before crossing the street. Of course his parents never told him these wise words but it didn't matter because it was more like common sense. And after getting hit by an automobile for the twenty-seventh time, you would think he would have learned to be more careful.<p>

And so here he was, sitting in a medieval looking chair at a cast iron table within the fiery depths of hell which by the way did not scorch his skin or singe his hair or blaze with the heat of a thousand suns. It just felt as if somebody hadn't paid the air conditioning bill. Hitler, Saddam, and Michael Jackson were sitting at the table as well, covering there faces with a set of cards held within each of their hands.

"You got any threes?" Kenny mumbled tiredly. They were on their sixth game of go-fish, but what else was there to do in hell? Hitler shook his head; Saddam yelled a "nope" and Michael Jackson suspiciously shuffled his card before muttering a hasty, "Go-fish."

"He's lying!" Saddam shouted wildly while pointing an accusatory finger towards the once King of Pop.

"No I'm not… you're just ignorant…" Michael retaliated.

Before the argument could get too heated, Kenny left with a heavy sigh. Soon he would be reborn into the world of mortals for the three-hundred and sixty-fourth time and all would be right with the world. He found though as he got older, it always took a little longer to return home.

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><p>It was a Tuesday night when Butters showed up on Kenny's rickety door step. The sun had recently set and the temperature had dropped below freezing. Kenny cocked his head to the side and stared down at the poor boy who was wearing only a t-shirt and cargo shorts. He crossed his arms and smirked, obviously amused by Butters choice in clothing.<p>

"You're not in California anymore butterscotch." Kenny teased evilly while continuing to block the doorway.

"Oh hush up K-Ken and l-let me in! It's f-freezing out here!" Butters made a swift attempt to slide past Kenny but the taller boy wasn't budging.

"Oh Leopold, what has become of your manners?" Kenny barked back before finally stepping aside to let the freezing boy into his more than humble home. Mr. and Mrs. McCormick had failed yet again to pay their bills so Kenny quickly began looking for an extra jacket or blanket to hand to butters. He stumbled upon Karen's parka lying in the middle of the living room and handed it to Butters.

"A-Are you serious?" The smaller blonde asked through chattering teeth while eyeing the pink parka as if it were tainted with disease.

"Aren't you cold?" Kenny questioned while shoving the jacket into Butters' arms.

"Well… y-yeah but don't ya have anythin' else? I'm gay, not a drag queen." Butters piped with a frown.

"Could have fooled me. We all know you still prance around in your Margarine outfit."

Butters' cheeks started to glow a faint pink and Kenny burst into laughter.

"D…Dude…," Kenny sputtered through short bursts of breath, clutching his stomach in hysterical agony, "I was…ha…just fucking around!"

"Go ahead and laugh it up Kenny…I-It's not as if y-you're so high and mighty! Lord knows what you do in your spare time!" Butters forced out with a sharp tongue.

"You've sure been a sassy little booger since you got back," Kenny began, his voice rising slightly with agitation. "Why don't you just put on the damn jacket…I won't tell if you don't."

Butters flinched slightly from Kenny's tone and quickly slid on the fluorescent parka.

"Now see there? That color looks great on you."

Butters ignored the comment.

"So what are you doing here, anyway?" Kenny questioned while walking nonchalantly to his room, Butters following close behind.

"I wanted to ask ya where ya been! I feel like I haven't seen ya in a couple days." Butters replied as he watched Kenny pointlessly open his bedroom window. He was going to point out that clearly the glass was broken and shattered enough to allow plenty of airflow without opening it, but Butters digressed. Kenny then walked to his dresser and began rummaging through the top drawer until he whipped out a package of Pall Malls and some matches.

"Now, what are ya doin' that for Ken? Are you tryin' to kill yourself?" Butters whined with a frown, while pinching his nose shut to cut off the invasive smell bound to come. Kenny then put a hand to his chin, stroking it thoughtfully before finally answering.

"You don't know the half of it, sister." Kenny muttered while lighting a half-smoked cigarette.

Butters shook his head with confusion before pressing the question once more.

"So?"

"So what?" Kenny countered stupidly while inhaling a puff of nicotine.

"Where ya been, buddy? You've had me worried sick." Butters then began mashing his small fists together while looking around nervously. For a whole minute, Butters looked nine years old again, "It's like… every now and then ya just disappear."

"Oh yeah?" Kenny mumbled while pretending to busy himself by picking up dirty clothes.

"Yeah… and for some reason nobody can ever remember when we saw you last… it's strange. And a couple of nights ago, I had the strangest dream involving you and a school bus but I don't quite remember what hap—

"Do you smell raspberries?" Kenny interrupted briskly while faking a serious expression, "I smell raspberries."

Butters just stared, eyebrow raised and head cocked to the side, "W-Well no Ken… I don't smell… raspberries."

"Really? Because I totally—

Butters cut him off.

"Ken, where do you go? If you ever just disappear again, where should I look?"

"You know… Around." Kenny answered quickly before changing the subject, "So why are you dressed like that? We're in South Park, Colorado, remember?"

"W-well Bradley likes these kinds of clothes on me… s-so I wear 'em for him to make him happy." Butters answered with a faint smile. His eyes started to twinkle with that special kind of light, one only finds when they think they've found true love.

Kenny snarled with disgust.

"You look like Hollister and Banana Republic crapped out a hybrid baby."

"Is that…bad?"

Kenny only shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette.

"W-well you fellers are gonna make fun of me no matter what I wear so I s'pose it don't matter anyhow." Butters grunted indignantly with his arms crossed.

"Dude, what's with the fucking attitude?" Kenny shot back while standing to his feet. Butters took a few steps back, startled by the aggressiveness in his tone.

"I-I'm j-just trying to s-stick up for m-myself! Y-you guys are always poking fun… a-and taking advantage of me! Well boy howdy, I'm sick and… and tired of it!" Butters stuttered out, trying to hide the obvious fear he was feeling since Kenny had gotten in his face.

"Dude, nobody's made you do anything completely humiliating since freshman year, so I don't know why you've suddenly come down with bitch syndrome." Kenny replied while pointing at Butters with his cigarette.

"I told Bradley how you fellers treat me… a-and he says you guys are a buncha manipulative and… and facetious b-butt-holes!"

"What? Who the fuck does this guy think he is?" Kenny shouted, glowing a bright shade of frustration, "Butters, ever since you started taking it up the ass you've been acting like such a prick!"

Butters was silent, pale, and obviously hurt.

If his heart had balls, it totally felt like Kenny kicked him square in the nards.

"You know…," Butters began while glancing to the floor, shifting his feet and twiddling his thumbs, "Bradley said this would happen…that you fellers just wouldn't understand."

"Butters, just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to go around acting like an arrogant asshole." Kenny replied before chunking the butt of his cigarette out the window and closing it shut, "And who the fuck is this Bradley kid? He sounds like he's warping your mind."

"N-Now you listen here Kenneth!"

Said boy flinched heavily from the use of his proper name.

"Bradley is the most important person in my life right now, that's who he is! A-And if you can't learn to behave yourself… a-and show some proper respect… w-well then this friendship is over." Butters puffed out his chest, crossed his arms and tried to look as intimidating as possible.

Silence followed.

Then approximately three minutes later, after a considerable amount of time of thinking Butters statement through, Kenny let out a heavy sigh.

"Butters, dude." Kenny started, his voice filled with a hint of sympathy. Butters smiled, expecting an apology, ecstatic he'd gotten through to his hard-headed friend.

He leaned forward, joy racing through his veins, and waited eagerly for Kenny to finish his sentence.

"I'm gonna kick this kid's fucking ass."

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><p>"Dude, does anyone know what's up with Butters? He's been avoiding us for the past few days." Stan commented during lunch.<p>

"I know! I tried talking to him and he muttered something like… 'facetious butt-hole' and walked away." Kyle replied while looking around for the blonde-headed boy.

"Who cares?" Cartman whined while chewing a bite of his third hamburger, "I'm glad he's gone… his gayness might have rubbed off on us, you gahs."

Kenny just remained silent, stirring his mashed potatoes that resembled something like muddy snow. He glanced up to notice the rest of the gang eyeing him suspiciously, knowing very well Kenny knew something they didn't. Stan crossed his arms, Kyle's eyebrows turned downward in a glare, and Cartman plastered an evil smirk upon his plump face.

"What?" The poor blonde shot defensively.

"What did you do to Butters?" Kyle and Stan asked in unison, glancing to each other in surprise at the harmony of their voices.

_Fags. Why don't you just go take your Jew to that bathroom and fuck his brains out already?_ Kenny thought sourly. _Damn when did I get so bitter?_

"I didn't do anything to Butters." Kenny finally answered after a moment of silence.

Of course the boys weren't buying it.

"Okay…" Stan began, "What did you _say_ to Butters?"

Kenny only stared back at him, obviously peeved that they were pressing the subject. He crinkled his brow and started gnawing the side of his cheek while he contemplated what to say. Kenneth was always one for honesty and didn't particularly want to lie about his and Leopold's conversation so much as just avoid it.

"I didn't say anything…bad." Was Kenny's final answer.

"Kenny…what you think is bad and what morally sound people think is bad is like the difference between the north and south poles." Kyle argued, completely oblivious to Kenny's Mysterion work he still played from time to time on the side. Next to Kyle, Kenny was the most 'morally sound' person there.

"Hey, if anything Butters' douche bag boyfriend is the problem." Kenny barked defensively.

"Damn Ken, you jealous or what?" Cartman chuckled from the side.

"Shut up Cartman! I'll smack the fat off your face!" Kenny shouted while standing to his feet, preparing to jump across the lunch table if need be.

Stan and Kyle eyed him suspiciously until Kenny let out an uncomfortable cough and sat back down.

"What did you say to Butters?" Stan asked again.

"All I said was he was acting like a little bitch and I was gonna kick his queer boyfriend's ass." Kenny blurted out finally, taking a heavy sigh after he'd admitted the truth.

"Makes sense." Stan muttered to Kyle.

"Of course," Said Jew replied.

Kenny frowned.

"So, why don't you go apologize?" Kyle suggested, nodding his head in the direction of Butters who had recently appeared in the cafeteria, sitting alone at the far end of the last table.

"No way."

"Why not?"

"Because I meant what I said," Kenny explained angrily, "And besides apologizing is for fags."

"Oh brother…" Stan muttered, pinching his nose as always when he became frustrated.

"Maybe we should meet this guy, Kenny. We can all go together." Kyle recommended nodding his head with optimism, "Then we can all mutually decide if he's as big a douche as you make him out to be."

"No way gahs!" Cartman exclaimed quickly, "One queer is enough! If they start multiplying, they'll use their faggy witchcraft to turn us all into homos!"

"Shut up Cartman," Kyle muttered, "What do you say Kenny?"

"I'm seriousleh you gahs!"

"Fine." Kenny finally decided, tossing the rest of his lunch and making his way towards Butters.

"Butters." He stated simply while taking a seat in front of said blonde.

"Kenneth." Butters answered, arms crossed and snootily raising his nose to the air.

"I…I…ap…apolo…," Kenny sputtered, coughing every so often to emphasize just what an ass-hole he was being.

"You what?" Butters pressed, now fully glaring at Kenny and thumping his fingertips on the table.

"You know… that thing you do after you act like a total dick…"

"I'm sorry. I seem to be at a loss. Just what on earth are you implying?"

"Ugh!" Kenny grunted, banging his fists on the table, "I… shmushmolishize." He muttered quietly, while quickly looking away.

"You what?"

"I-I'm sorry, dammit! Are you happy?"

Butters only smiled.

"The guys wanna meet this Bradley kid to, you know… check him out… make sure he's not a crab person, or an alien, or woodland critter in disguise…" Kenny stated, trying to hide his disgust, "Be at Stark's Pond with your queer tomorrow, 2 o'clock sharp."

Butters surprisingly ignored the last comment and nodded happily, "Roger that!"


	3. Sure Nuff

**A/N: Um… Hi guys. I know I haven't updated in a while, not that anyone reads this story anyways but uh… lets just pick up where we left off shall we? If I had a dollar for every reason why I love South Park, I'd be one rich motha-fucka. I've noticed my story is mostly dialogue, and that kind of pisses me off but what's done is done. I'll try to add some more artistic details and descriptions so it doesn't sound like total crap… I'm cool with 50%. Anyways, I don't own South Park but if I did I would die of pure elation.**

**That's right. Elation.**

**How's that for artistic bullshit?**

Sure 'Nuff

If Kenny had to describe the way he felt, sitting on the ice cold bench at Stark's pond which by the minute was increasingly dampening the seat of his jeans, squished between Stan and Kyle who kept annoyingly leaning over to talk to the other because they just couldn't stand to be separated for ten damn minutes, while waiting for Butters and his significant 'douche bag' other to show up and have what couldn't be called anything else except a double date plus one— being Kenny… he would have described it a little like this:

Fucking Bullshit.

Except even 'fucking bullshit' didn't serve this moment justice. Although it applicably summed up this situation into two very influential words, those words in themselves were not descriptive enough— expressive enough, fucking down right effective enough to describe exactly how Kenny felt. They weren't enough to rationalize taking a pistol to his temple and pulling the trigger, which was precisely what he wanted to do right then because it was not as if anyone would remember anyway, allowing him to put off the dreadful meeting for another couple of days.

Unfortunately, Kenny was not armed with any kind of lethal weapon and the chances of a bus or any other form of 'death on contact' transportation heading that direction, was slim to none. So eventually Kenny disregarded the idea of suicide, thinking it too melodramatic anyways and waited eagerly for the afternoon to pass.

Besides, he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't just a little excited to see Butters in his homo element.

Although, Kenny was _definitely_ not looking forward to some stranger groping his innocent little blonde in inappropriate places, calling him pet names, or making heinous kissy faces while talking in an obnoxiously high pitched voice (as if he were speaking to an infant or a miniature poodle)… because of course, those were just the kinds of things Kenny was _sure_ faggots did, or did they?.

Another question on Kenny's mind is why he couldn't give this guy the benefit of the doubt. He had no reason to dislike Bradley. In fact, the more he thought about it he couldn't really remember why he'd told Butters he was acting like a prick anyway. Butters _is_ and always will be a whiny little bitch if you push his buttons right. That was simply his character. Sure he may have been acting just a smidge snooty, but that's expected after spending so much time being spoiled by his wealthy aunt in paradise.

But for some unknown reason, Kenny had this burning sensation in his gut every time he thought about Bradley and Butters together and he became extremely agitated. He was positive that if rage was a tangible object, surely it would feel like fire.

And that fire started to burn with the heat of the sun when Kenny spotted two blondes, one short and one tall, walking in the distance. Due to Kenneth's horrible eyesight (and his parents inability to afford him glasses) he couldn't quite make out the taller boy's features from afar, but he was positive by the familiar bright turquoise jacket that the shorter one was Butters. A smirk played across his lips after taking note of his friend's attire. Surely, Bradley had not picked out his outfit.

"Butters! Over here!" Kyle called out, standing to his feet like the gentleman (Kenny was supposed to be) he was.

That same feeling of indigestion came back to the blonde's stomach as he waited for the two figures to approach them. His heart was beating faster than a field mouse as his hands began to clam up. He sloppily wiped them on his jeans before preparing to shake hands.

"Hey fellers!" Leopold cried out excitedly, flailing an arm about in a jolly wave, "This here's Bradley!"

Said boy glanced around nervously, fidgeting with his hands, and shifting his weight on his feet. His curly blonde locks, fro-ed out much like Kyle's but longer, fell loosely at his shoulders. He smiled uncomfortably and managed a quick wave before taking a step towards Butters, so close they were touching shoulders. Kenny eyed the boy up and down, squinting to get a better look. He had crooked teeth and a few freckles, but overall could be considered moderately attractive.

Kenny couldn't help but notice Bradley's clothes, a v-neck shirt covered by a striped cardigan, dubbing them of higher class and probably expensive. He glanced down towards his own ripped jeans (which had not been purchased that way) and his filthy black vans.

He frowned.

"Sup dude." Stan muttered first, stepping forward and offering his hand to the awkward boy. Bradley accepted the gesture and meekly shook Stan's hand, grunting a hasty 'sup'.

"Hey man, I'm Kyle," The friendly Jew spoke next, avoiding a handshake and giving an acknowledging nod. If Broflovski didn't want to touch this guy, there had to be something wrong. Kyle always gave people the benefit of the doubt, hence why they were here in the first place. However, the ginger, jersey, Jew was never one for physical contact (unless it was with Stan) so Kenny shrugged the notion off.

Now it was Kenny's turn to acknowledge the stranger, although he'd yet to budge. Instead he'd just been staring at the boy as if he'd just stolen all of his food stamps.

The atmosphere was quite unsettling as Stan and Kyle waited impatiently for Kenny to make a move, speak, or do anything. The silence continued as he maintained eye contact with Bradley, his fingers curled into a frustrated fist. Kenny's eyebrows were bent downwards ever so slightly, not quite a glare, but not quite a frown. Bradley's left eye made a sudden twitch before he finally looked away.

Kenny was satisfied.

Having won the intense staring contest, Kenny then politely held out his grimy hand towards Bradley who accepted it hesitantly. Once he'd gotten a taste of Kenny's forceful grip on his frail, lanky hand he immediately pulled away, bringing his fist to his chest and rubbing it tenderly. He covered up the gesture with a nervous nod, maintaining his gaze on the fierce blonde he was beginning to suspect had it out for him.

"I'm Kenny. Kenny McCormick." Said blonde stated boldly before crossing his arms across his chest, "You haven't told us your name?"

"I-I figured Butters had already-"

"It's only polite." Kenny cut off Bradley before he could finish his sentence.

Stan's eyebrows turned upwards in a surprised expression, whereas Kyle's turned downwards in annoyance.

"I-I'm Bradley."

Anyone could tell that boy was nervous from a mile away. If they couldn't see the beads of sweat forming at his temples, or the way he was anxiously shifting his feet, they would definitely be able to hear his pounding heart beat.

"So what do you like to do for fun… Bradley?" Kenny snorted while taking a step forward and then to the left, before circling the poor guy like a menacing shark.

"Bradley likes to golf!" Butters shouted enthusiastically, as if it _wasn't_ the most boring sport known to man, "And he likes to read, and shop, a-and his parents own a real big boat! I think it's called a… a yacht… or somethin' like that."

Kenny noticed Bradley gulp in trepidation, obviously embarrassed and fearful of being teased. He turned to see Stan pinching the bridge of his nose and Kyle giving the boy a sympathetic expression. The South Park boys were something else. They were not jealous of people more fortunate than them and enjoyed the things they had. In fact, they felt sorry for the rich sap who was forced to move here because they would be mocked like no other. Take Token for example.

"…Impressive." Kenny muttered sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.

"Wha-what about you guys?" Bradley choked out, placing his attention towards Kyle since he seemed to be the nicest member of the group. It was honestly quite cute the way Bradley was trying to hold up conversation despite Kenny's intimidating demeanor.

"You know," Stan started, "Dude stuff."

"Yeah," Kyle agreed, "We like to you know… play basketball and… ride skateboards… and fuck with Cartman." He finished with a devious chuckle.

"Who is Cartman?" Bradley asked curiously, "And why do you like to… 'fuck' with him?"

Kenny and Stan burst into a fit of laughter whereas Kyle only closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh of pure hatred.

"He gave me AIDS dude." The ginger grumbled irritably, "You'll never hate a person more, than after he intentionally gives you AIDS. Even if he found the cure… the damage has already been done."

Bradley didn't respond, as he shouldn't have, which left another thirty seconds of awkward silence until Butters spoke up once more.

"What are you fellers up to today?" The blonde asked curiously, diverting his attention directly to Kenny for reasons unknown. It may have been because he desperately wanted Kenny to accept Bradley, or he knew that request was immediately denied the second they met and he didn't want to lose his best friend. Either way, the Stotch boy was staring intently at McCormick hesitantly waiting for an answer.

Said blonde was trying to shift his gaze away from Butters' pleading blue eyes, while thinking of an excuse that would not seem too hurtful. He couldn't spend all day trooping through awkward silences while trying to hold back his temper when the situation called upon it. It was just too much effort.

Before Kenny could respond, Jew boy raised his voice, "Me and Stan are going to Shakey's pizza. Later."

Kenny's jaw dropped to the floor. That no good dirty rotten Moses lovin-

"Kenny, you wanna come?"

Stan, such a good guy, always coming to Kenny's rescue in his time of need! Kenny had never felt such an undying appreciation for the raven haired boy than he did at this exact moment.

"Nah, I think Kenny wants to spend time with Butters and his new friend."

Fuck you Kyle.

Butters smiled, Bradley gulped, and Kenny sighed. It was going to be a long day.


End file.
